"We take ourselves very, very seriously. We are the peacemakers, the do-gooders, the givers, the savers. We are on time, overly prepared, well read, and witty, intellectually curious, always moving.

We are living contradictions. We are socially conscious, multicultural and anti-corporate but we still shop at Gap and Banana Republic. We listen to hip-hop, indie rock and country on our iPods.

We are girls in hooker boots, wife beaters and big earrings. We make documentary films, knit sweaters and DJ. We are “social smokers”, secretly happy that the cigarettes might speed up our metabolisms, hoping they won’t kill us in the process.

We pride ourselves on getting as little sleep as possible and thrive on self-deprivation. We drink coffee, a lot of it. We are on birth control, Prozac and multivitamins. We do strip aerobics, hot yoga, go five more minutes than the limit on any exercise machine at the gym.

We are relentless, judgmental with ourselves and forgiving to others. We never want to be as passive-aggressive as our mothers, never want to marry men as uninspired as our fathers. We carry the old world of guilty—center of families, keeper of relationships, caretaker of friends—with the new world of ambition—rich, independent, powerful. We are the daughters of feminists who said, “You can be anything” and we heard, “You have to be everything.”

We must get A’s. We must make money. We must save the world. We must be thin. We must be unflappable. We must be beautiful. We are the anorectics, the bulimics, the overexercisers, the overeaters. We must be perfect. We must make it look effortless.

We grow hungrier and hungrier with no close what we are for. The holes inside of us grow bigger and bigger."

This is late in the day....but

Go Obama :) :) :)

I was at school all day so i didn't get to watch or listen to the inaguration...I'll catch up on YouTube later this week.
Woo!! Today was a good day for me, too.

You can probably expect a lot more photography related posts, as I am taking classes again.
More interesting than "oMGzzzz i"m soooOOsooo fAt!!!!" which I am, but whatever

I kinda just wanna drink all of this



( no, I'll leave you with something....prettier )

"i think it's amazing what the body can do, when asked. "

patti smith

I tell you, sometimes my thinspo comes from the weirdest sources.
aka David Bowie and offshoots of his genius, such as Kevin Barnes or Patrick Wolf.
I watched Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars last night with Camel No. 9s, a bottle of cheap cabernet, and my ex.
His cheek bones are to die for. Unfortunatly, there isn't a single good photo of him on the internet.








haha




Kevin Barnes



Weird new OM band line-up. I liked it when they were small-time, but good for them.
I kissed the one on the far left and the one on the far right, before he was in OM
And have seen the one second from left with no pants. Hahah.
Groupie. So what. 




And, on a slightly more normal note, Sarah Jessica Parker, because I just watched Sex and the City movie.
The scene where she is running through the snowy NYC on New Years Eve almost made me cry.
I have always had an obsession with New Years Eve in big cities. I went to Times Square several years ago.
It was crazy and I'm glad I went but that was it.





I haven't been doing very well. Binging and purging. A lot.
Sleeping alot.
Kissing my ex boyfriend when I know I don't feel the way I used to. It's been a long time since we broke up, but it is comfortable. But I am afraid. Very very afraid to hurt him.
Speaking of my disease running my life, he is very thin.

Do you ever notice how NOTHING looks good when you're fat?? And i'm supposed to "go out" tomorrow.
Fuck.

I just want to starve again. That's all.

Whenever I google search for Amy pics, I always come across some really harsh gossip. Poor girl.
The ones that make fun of her for being "a bag of bones" but I look at it and want that.

great legs




weird pic. more great legs



I want to borrow my boy's Fred Perrys and have them swim on me

Reading articles like this one, America's Most Obese Cities, gives me thinspo because I never want to be lumped into the category of obesity. 32% of America is obese. Disgusting. 

Also, the other day someone wrote something about the old cliche 'French Women Don't Get Fat..." and how they truly savour their food, they never reach for seconds, and so on.
I stayed in France for a few weeks earlier in the year and I really did notice the difference in they way they treat food. EVERYONE walked around with a baguette and I found it hard to believe they were not so over-weight. Aren't "refined carbs" supposedly the devil? But note: everyone WALKED.And I'd see how my cousin I was staying with would walk into the kitchen, slice a tiny bit of bread, and off she went. No gorging.

I came across this article about the person who wrote French Woman Don't Get Fat: The Secret of Eating for Pleasure. Has anyone read this? I think I might look for it at the library.
Some interesting points. One of my favourite being:

2. "One thing French women know is that the pleasure of most foods is in the first few bites; we rarely have seconds."
Well, I would argue that French women know many other things, too...but back to the food. The Spanish are famous for eating tapas-style, but the French widely practice it too. And it's the most enjoyable way to eat. After two bites of anything, one is eating out of rote, obligation, or need for fuel. After two bites, three at the most, the flavors have given up all they are likely to. Give me a few carefully prepared tapas dishes over a typical American Thanksgiving dinner plate crammed with food any day.

I have been heavily restricting, but if I do eat, these thoughts have really been helping me.
For example; I've been feeling pretty weak all day so I decided I'd have something. I had one bite of each item I got out.
I just think of Audrey Tautou (aka Amelie) sitting down at a dinner table and how dainty and delicate she must eat.
Do you think she gorges herself? Overeats on Krispy Kreme doughnuts? Has 3 bowls of cereal? Drinks Coke? No.

Are there any French girls here, anyways?

( Audrey Tautou )

Veruschka von Lehndorff in the 1966 film, Blow Up

Irina Lazareanu and Pete Doherty



yeah, these are a bit old, as I believe they split already? I haven't been keeping up with the Doherty gossip.

I know, I know...Pete is looking a bit..rough...these days, but I hear he's rehabbing, and we all know that
recover from drugs = weight gain. So, good for him, y'know?